End of Guru? Here is why

To me, its odd that I am even at this point. I have said it the whole time, and it literally did not hit me until today. People always ask me how I have 2k+ followers on Twitter. A number that, lets be real, its nothing special, but its higher than your average "tweeter." For a long time, well, up until today really, I convinced myself that every single follower I had, followed me because they liked what I had to say. Today, I realized that it had nothing to do with it. Today I realized that it had everything to do with the name I was tweeting from, and thats why I am at the point I am at.

It literally all started as a joke. When I used to work at Traffik back in the day the owner Johnny came up with "The Shoe Guru" as a way to let people know I had some knowledge. The goal ultimately was to use it as a cool little marketing idea. Give people a chance to test their knowledge up against the Guru, honestly, it seemed like an amazing idea. Back then, I was so enthralled in the sneaker world it was insane. But it was different, I would get excited over simple stuff. A $200 pair of sneakers was a HUGE deal. I thought Tiffany dunks were the rarest sneaker of all time and that once I get them, if ever, that my life would be complete. An easier time, a time that gave me a lot of joy and happiness. I did not know any shop owners, I did not have any connects, it was me roughing it out 100%. I had to pay my dues of course, all with the goal of the ever illusive "hook up". If I could get in with dudes at a shop I would be set for life, it was just such a linear goal that it all made sense, so much motivation to complete that goal. Back then, I knew who I was, and I was okay with everything that I was about, cause it was simple and straightforward, I was about sneakers, sneakers were who I was.

Lately, things have changed a little bit. I became someone I dont know, someone that nobody knows, honestly because that person does not exist. I saw a television show once where a women pretended to be Anna Nicole Smith. Every day she would spend hours getting ready and walk through major cities pretending to be a celebrity, all for the joy of feeling accepted.

I could lie, but I won't. I am at the point where lies are not necessary and would only prolong the inevitable. The past 3 years, all I wanted to do was fit into this world that we call the Sneaker Community. I wanted to be someone. I wanted to make a name for myself. Some would say that I have, that I did just that. Me? I think I simply got lucky. Now I know a lot of you are probably saying "Well I met you, and you really are a cool dude." I guess I just have one question, if I was never living behind the name "The Sneaker Guru" would I have ever had the opportunity to meet you? I truly think that anyone could have done what I did, pick a catchy name and run with it. Thats what I feel like I have realized. I was simply living behind a name, a name that I did not even come up with, a name I can't even take credit for. It is definitely hard for me to say that, but at the end of the day, I know its the truth. You were not following Kyle Powers, you were following The Sneaker Guru.

I will say that I am extremely fortunate to have had the opportunity to live the life I have lived the past few years. I have certainly done a lot of things that most people may never get the chance to. What I am not proud of is that I could not do it at Kyle Powers, it was always as Guru.

At the end of the day this is a culmination of a lot of things. The outcome? I have sort of lost the love of sneakers that I once had. I lost the simplicity of it. I lost the excitement and motivation it gave me on a daily basis. I used to eat sleep and breath sneakers. Now? They are simply just a stack of boxes at the foot of my bed. Some carry personal meaning and I will always keep those as they are more than just leather and rubber to me. But for now, everything else is not something I want to be a part of. Maybe some day I will find that love that I once had. A love that at this point I cant say I see coming back in the near future. Maybe this time, I will find that love, and this time, I will do it as Kyle Powers, not as The Sneaker Guru.